Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Jickey Fenster

Jickey Fenster has had better days. He's now working at Tanger Mall in the Off 5th store. Go figure.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Licky Splitmunster

Licky Splitmunster woke up today and thought to himself he really needed a donut.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Foody Fussmuster

Foody Fussmuster isn't as harmful as he seems but he does drool when watching a movie. He can be found working at the local deli. He makes a very good sandwich. Just make sure that writes down your order and grab the finished product before he eats it.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Hoo M. Eye

Hoo M. Eye works at 7/11. He makes a mean Slurpee, but surprise, he hates them. The last brain freeze he had lasted two years. He's not that happy.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Marcie Jones

Marci Jones seems like a monster but is very sweet unless you cross her then she'll bite your head off. She's serving 25 to life upstate for being not so sweet one day last year.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Harry Bug

Harry Bug is working at the local amusement park to pay off fixing that gap in his smile. He's very upset about it so please don't mention it when you run into him. He loves to munch on rain soaked ants and enjoys dancing in the moonlight. He's looking for a partner so he can enter a Ballroom Dance competition. 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Ozzie Venter Gigglepuss

Ozzie Venter Gigglepuss is not a happy camper. He worries too much and then his little remaining hair falls out. His dream is to own his own hotel where he would have a constant supply of guests to dine on.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Zarpy Narcaster

Zarpy Narcaster wants to be a work for the IRS. Seems like he might need a talking to.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Randell Jones

Randell Jones works at an ice cream store. Funny, he is lactose intolerant.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Whipple Poo Pete

Whipple Poo Pete is a delightful little guy. He's no bigger than a dust bunny from under your bed. He lives down there and is the main reason you are missing a certain sock. He eats them so there is no use saving the other sock. Just throw it away or give it to Whipple Poo Pete.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Harry Zisk

Harry Zisk lives down the Jersey Shore under the Boardwalk somewhere between Ocean Grove and Asbury Park. He loves to eat hot dogs with peanut butter. He's trying to quick smoking.

Pinky Pinkster

Pinky Pinkster operates the Bumper Car ride at Seaside Heights. Stop by and say hello but not before he's had his morning coffee.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Walter Ratherbone Kipperbeak

Walter Ratherbone Kipperbeak lives in a garbage bag out back. He is trying to get a job working at Disney World but we don't think that is going to work out for him.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

John "Bobby" Jones

John "Bobby" Jones from all appearances is very happy. He works as the night guard in a local Walmark. He favorite food is chicken... usually with the feather attached.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Fuzzy Boy Banjo Jones

Fuzzy Boy Banjo Jones lives under my deck in Southampton, NY. He helps keep the local raccoon population at check. I don't know what he does with them and I don't want to.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Shawn Piddlepoop

Shawn Piddlepoop loves to smell feet so you'd think he would work at a shoe store. He doesn't. Go figure. He works in a Juice Bar but was found putting bugs into customers' orders. Yuck.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Mickey Stompanoodle

Mickey Stompanoodle is a hit man for the mob in Florida and sometimes works as a barber in Disney World. 

Roger Moo Moo Mau Mau

Roger Moo Moo Mau Mau wanders the back woods of Manorville eating ticks. He works as an office manager at an undisclosed company.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Roger Deemiter

Roger Deemiter loves to freeze birds on a stick and eat them in the summer sun.

Andy Boocarent

Andy Boocarent works in a clothing store on Main Street. His favorite time of day is sunset when he hunts for lost squirrels. You do not want to know what he does with them. But if you have to ask, he plays high stakes poker with them in Atlantic City.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Fortnoy Pomegranate

Fortnoy Pomegranate sleeps during the day and roams at night looking for stray cookies. He's not that scary but don't bump into him in the dark... he might bite your head off.

Clowny Dinkle Johnson

Clowny Dinkle Johnson works as a lawyer at Hinkle, Dickey, and Mooby down on 10th Street. He's very good at litigation but sometimes his looks get in the way.

Keifer McMurphy

Keifer McMurphy is a happy little fellow but at night he digs into dumpsters looking for stale donuts. He's from Hula-Hula Island and loves to read. He's available for parties. He has a killer magic act.

Dinky Pillbottom

Dinky Pillbottom lives in the pool house out back on the grounds of my home. I don't seem him very often. I think he's been working at a deli in town. He loves to fish and is good for keeping animals out of my pool.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Happy Macmore

Happy Macmore is a happy little fellow but he's often found digging the neighbors cereal boxes. He particularly enjoys Coco-Puffs.

Cody Klostrophobic

Cody Klostrophobic loves to dance and sing the Brady Bunch theme song over and over... all day long. ALL DAY LONG. He's very annoying.

Jarley Van Popplepop

Jarley Van Popplepop lives somewhere in Florida. He likes to eat alligators and has at least one every day. He enjoys a cup of coffee and works as a night watchman at Disney World. 

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Grimpy Pinkmore

Grimpy Pinkmore

Mr. Pinkmore owns and operates a cruise ship. Trust us, the food is terrible and the slot machines are fixed.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Bunny McCordiroy

Bunny McCordiroy works in the Department of Homeland Security. His current position is unknown and frankly we don't know what he actually does. He likes carrots and peanut butter. He's not married and is currently looking for a nice bunny to spend his time with.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Sonny Templer Fratbrain

Sonny Templer Fratbrain lives and works at Pizza-My-Love down the Jersey Shore. We don't suggest you get your pizza from this one. He likes to use bugs and nails in his sauce. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Stiny Wetbottom III

Stinky Wetbottom III

Stinky comes from a long line of smelly tree dwellers.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Zippy Pintworty Messinger

Zippy works on the stock exchange and loves to eat sushi. Most people think his middle eye can see the future but that's not really true. It's just a middle eye.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Johnny Van Popple

Johnny Van Popple

Johnny loves to eat strawberry banana ice cream. Don't let him fool you, he is a clever one and will steal,your socks when you are not looking. You have been warned.

he also buries the socks in his back yard. He has a lot of them.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Sticky Hendlemuffin

Sticky Hendlemuffin

Thin and in a perpetually bad mood. He has terrible breath.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Sunny Brightwater

Sunny Brightwater

He loves the beach and sits in the sun all day.

Randell BoyBoy Ticketmoor

Randell BoyBoy Ticketmoor

A happy little guy most of the time until you cross him and he'll chew off your head with very sharp teeth. Best to stay away, period.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Punkwater Crybaby

Punkwater Crybaby

Like his name implies, he cries a lot.

Jimmy the Popperwald

Jimmy the Popperwald

Jimmy is a delightful fellow. He lobes to play the slots, but loses at cards. 

Petey Eveningstar

Petey Eveningstar

Not much is know about Mr. Eveningstar other than the fact he likes cupcakes.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Roger Thudmuckler

Roger Thudmuckler

Roger is a door to door salesman. He sells Do It Yourself Nose Job Kits.
he has sold quite a few.

Nick Karpol

Nick Karpol 

Not much is known about Nick. He was found living under a sink in Hoboken last year.

Farky McButtbutter

Farky McButtbutter

A delightful fellow, friendly, polite, and caring. He cheats at board games, however.

Pinky Dewdoodle

Pinky Dewdoodle

Pinky loves to love...he smothers you to death. Enough said.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Nickey Harkbruckner

Nickey Harkbruckner

Film producer, fisherman, and all around moron. Not too bright, his feet smell, and so does his breath. He doesn't have many friends.

His most recent film was the much derided "Smell the Dead Roses." Even so, he loaded and considered a good catch.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Gimpy Dill Parkerstern

Gimpy Dill Parkerstern

Gimpy loves to shop, is a great mind reader, and can time travel.

Madison Muckrucker

Madison Muckrucker

Madison is blue, but not defeated. He loves to sing and dance. He enjoys playing cards but has trouble with it on account of having no hands.

Stinky Funkmuster

Stinky Funkmuster

He is very friendly but don't cross him or he'll eat you whole.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Angelo Gardenerbaumberg Fauntlarow

Angelo Gardenerbaumberg Fauntlarow

Angelo is a fine fellow. He loves to Play golf with... Meatballs.
He also dines on bugs and pasta dipped in car oil.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Derkry Van Pooplelove

Derkry Van Pooplelove


Derkey was fairly nice until he won the lottery in Kansas. He loves too cook, but mostly humans, so it is not advised to accept any dinner invitations.